Entering into a marriage is filled with joy and pleasant surprises. But as time passes and the longer you and your spouse live under the same roof, the more prone you become to big and small conflicts.
As newlyweds, conflict resolution may not yet be an area of expertise for you and your partner. The truth is, there is no way to completely avoid problems from coming up. Both of you are only human, after all.
When the issues come up, feel free to enroll yourselves into couples therapy sessions to gain objective insights about your issues and resolve conflicts before seeds of resentment are sown. In fact, therapy is good to have even before the problems occur.
Four Common Problems Among Newlyweds
As a guide, these are the most common problems newlyweds experience and how best to resolve them.
1. Financial Concerns
Financial problems very quickly occur when a couple goes into the marriage without preparing for it. If you didn’t have an in-depth discussion, you will have no idea of the income, debt, and financial goals that your partner is bringing into your partnership. Ideally, you should have the big money talk before you get engaged.
When you are already married, combine your finances as a show of trust to your spouse. Hiding things and being dishonest are causes for many financial disagreements.
Consolidating your incomes makes you better equipped to pay off your debts and achieve your long-term goals. It also reassures you both that neither party has money that they are keeping hidden.
In order to manage your finances wisely, work together as a team from the get-go. Be transparent about your worries and build your budget with your objectives in mind.
2. Dealing with In-laws and Other Family Members
Creating your first memories as a married couple is an exciting time, but there are times when the closest people in your lives get in the way. If you have ever had to deal with nosy and demanding in-laws, you will know the struggle.
Adjusting to in-laws can be a hassle. They may have unreasonable expectations about how you handle your marriage and even when to have kids. These can build up tension not just between you and your in-laws, but also between you and your spouse.
Protect yourself and your spouse by setting clear boundaries as a couple. You both are in the same team, and that means you face things together. The hardest part is making these lines clear with your in-laws, but doing so kindly is necessary to form a mutual respect for each other.
Don’t run away from your in-laws! Take the time to get to know them and build a good relationship with them. Show your appreciation for them, too, to let them know that you want to be in good terms with them.
3. Sexual Intimacy and Expectations
The honeymoon phase is often a time of sexual bliss. As time passes and life becomes busier for you both, your time in the bedroom may sometimes take a backseat.
When things become stale sexually, remember that intimacy is not limited to intercourse. There are other ways to maintain that intimate connection with your partner. Kissing, cuddling, and even flirting are little ways to show affection to your spouse and make them feel wanted.
Make sex a natural part of your routines. Just as exercising and taking out the trash are important, sex is an essential aspect of your marriage. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs and be open about yours, too.
4. Labor Division at Home
There are days when you feel like you are doing so much work and your partner is not quite doing enough. In your frustration, the tendency is to make remarks that could hurt your partner’s feelings.
To avoid this, have an account of all the chores you need to accomplish daily. Discuss your methods of accomplishing each one to find the best strategy to do these tasks. Since you both grew up in different households, there are bound to be differences in approach to each one.
Divide the workload fairly according to what you both are capable of and take time to do chores together, too. When the work is finished, it is immensely important to say thank you and make your partner know that their efforts are valued.
Communication is always mentioned as a necessity in relationships because it really is. Many times, what keeps issues from being resolved and what starts them in the first place is a lack of loving communication. As newlyweds, make open communication a tradition.