How are things going in your relationship?

Even in the most solid relationships, you may need a helping hand from time to time.

It’s the little things that count when it comes to having a fulfilling relationship. Have you forgotten what they are? Here I guide you back to the six back-to-basic relational necessities that form the foundation of a caring and trusting relationship.

Show empathy

Just making the effort to understand your partner can be crucial in a relationship. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. It’s one of the best things you can do for your relationship. If you and your partner often talk about topics where you’re trying to understand the other person, you’re practicing empathy. If not, it’s time to change that. Your partner is not a mind reader, so if you want to be understood, it’s important that you start opening up and talking about your concerns. So remember to take turns. Try to listen without judgment and don’t interrupt the other person. Real empathy comes when you feel your partner’s pain in what you’re talking about and then try to do something about it.

Repair

You are both human. Your partner will upset you and you will upset your partner, når partneren lyver. It’s critical for the relationship that you repair the hurt. Be active in repairing the other person’s feelings by apologizing (if you see you’ve hurt them) or saying you’ve let it go (when you can, if you’re hurt yourself). Letting things go doesn’t mean it’s okay or you fully accept what the other person has done. It just says ‘You and this relationship mean something to me and I want to work through it’.

Appreciate your partner

Remember to show your partner how much you appreciate them. Daily doses of showing that you appreciate your partner means everything to keep the spark alive. Focus on the good in your partner, it boosts the positive in your relationship. A simple ‘THANK YOU’ can give the relationship a very positive grounding feeling because your partner doesn’t feel taken for granted.

Show that your partner means something to you

Words can’t stand alone, show in your actions that you care. When was the last time you did something for your partner? If you fail to do the little things for the other person or don’t know what makes the other person feel seen, the relationship can end up being tense and negative. It’s time to make amends.

Be respectful

If you’re more respectful to everyone but your partner, your relationship will suffer. Re-establishing a proper tone and respect will have a very positive effect on your relationship and your sense of contentment in it. Respect sets a good caring tone, and this opens up for much closer and honest communication.

Try these five easy tips:

• Kiss the other person goodbye. Whoever leaves first kisses the other person goodbye.
• Welcome the other person home. Whoever is home first welcomes the other person home.
• Agree not to insult or deliberately talk down each other’s feelings when discussing.
• Show that you are proud of your partner when you are out in public. This strengthens your bond and builds trust.
• Don’t argue loudly in front of other people. It’s humiliating and will create distance in the relationship.

If you’ve drifted too far apart in your relationship, it can be difficult to fix it without help with both communication and getting to know your own feelings in order to understand the other person’s in order to move forward. This is where couples therapy comes in.

If you want to get even more out of your relationship, contact me and book an appointment for couples therapy. Or if you’ve gotten a little off track in your busy everyday life.